Confession Number Sixty-Five

I must confess...

... that I am extremely excited for my Senior year of high school.

Being a Senior, I have many responsibilities and I am much more of a role model for all of those under me. This is a huge role to take on and I feel like I'm prepared to take on the role, even though I know I'm going to get stressed out plenty of times.

As Senior year approaches and after it starts I have to look at colleges and eventually choose at the most 5 of my favorites. At the moment, this college search is not going very well at all. I have no idea what to do. What to look for. I'm even unsure of what I want. I know I want a good theatre program and a good music program along with the ability to double major/minor. I don't know what I'm going to study at this point. I think I might go into theatre, with an emphasis on the business/production side. But I also want to double major and have something else. I've thought about Math, but what do you do with a double major in theatre and math? I've also thought about music. And I definitely want to minor in Spanish.

To put it simply: My college search is very confusing. I also am not sure of how to actually search for colleges. I've done the whole draw-a-circle-around-your-city-of-how-far-you'd-be-willing-to-go, but I've done nothing with that. Help!


Anyways, back to Senior year: I'm nervous for the workload I'm going to have from the classes I'll be taking. However, HOWEVER, I have a study hall! I have never had a study hall during my past three years of high school and I am extremely excited to actually be able to do work during the school day! I will definitely need to because of my schedule next year, which looks like this:

• AP Government/National Issues


• AP Calculus


• AP Statistics


• AP English


• Theatre Class


• Mixed Chorus
  

Plus, on top of all of this, I'm going to be extremely involved with my school's Theatre Department. I'm Drama Club President which is going to be a lot of work, but I'm looking forward to it.

I am seriously thrilled for my Senior year of high school, even though I know it's going to be loads and loads of work.

Confession Number Sixty-Four

I must confess...

... that I am extremely pleased with my ACT score. I took the ACT on April 4th and I found out my scores on Wednesday.

Wednesday, April 15th. School had ended. I had gone to my locker and then to the auditorium for rehearsal. We had a run-through of the show. I remembered at 2:40, 20 minutes before rehearsal started, that the ACT scores were being posted online that day. I grabbed Delia and we ran to the Media Center to get online and check. I sat down at the computer, logged on and opened the browser. It took me about 2 minutes to get logged onto the ACT website and t0 get to my scores.

At the top of the page I see...

I FREAKED. I was shooting for a 34 but told myself that I would be happy with a 33, but not a 32. I was soooooo happy. I yanked out my cell phone and called my mom. She was also very happy, of course. She told me I made her smile. :) I was so ecstatic.

I got off of the phone with my mom, and of course the librarian says, "Next time take your phone out in the hall. But I'm very happy for you. What did you get?"
"33"
"Oh! That's so good. Good job."

It went something like that.

So basically that made me really really happy. I ran back to the auditorium and was so happy. And I told Delia to not tell everyone and she, accordingly, yells "Justin got a 33 on the ACT."

It was great. I can get into pretty much any college now.

And believe it or not, I have actually considered taking the test again. I know - NERD.

Confession Number Sixty-Three

I must confess...

... that we fail at keeping this blog update.

We have had no time in the past two-three months because we have been very involved with our school's musicals and with schoolwork itself.

Now for a real confession...

I must confess...

...that I LOVE Adam Lambert! His vocal ability is unbelievable.

Delia can attest for this because one day after school I was listening to his version of Mad World while having a musical orgasm because he is so amazing. I kept shouting, "HE HAS NO BREAKS!" (Yes. I am very aware that I am a music nerd. I get it.) He has no trouble going through his breaks and he has such amazing control over his voice. The past two weeks that I have watched him, my jaw has just fallen to the ground. Both times my mouth hung wide open. I can't get over how amazing his vocal abilities are. In Mad World he sings a C. A C! How many guys do you know that can sing a C like he does? I know 0. (And yes, I went to my keyboard and figured out what note he sang. NERD!)

You should just know that I think Adam Lambert is amazing. He may not appeal to the masses, but he sure is the best singer on that show. He has set a new bar that is not surpassed by any of the other contestants, vocally. And I am sure that Delia agrees 100% with me.

Here is a link to his performance of Mad World.

Confession Number Sixty-Two

I must confess...

...that I can't keep track of who I am. Which sounds like the first line of a really terrible, warbling emo song, I know.

I think it's just stress, I think it's just nerves. Brush it off, you know?

*

I was flipping idly through some of the old graphics I have saved, and one said, "Be open to whatever comes next," and I thought, "That's good advice. Optimistic, you know? American."

And then two days later I read a callous tabloid article about Natasha Richardson's sudden death, and I think about her poor husband and her poor sons and "next" seems pretty damn terrible. "Next" kind of makes me want to cry.

*

My days are running together, and the weird thing is that there's nothing wrong. I have great friends, I'm doing decent in school despite my complaining, home is as alright as I can expect it to be.

I don't know what's wrong. No, that's a lie, I do know what's wrong, and it's that I'm selfish and I'm hypocritical and there are a big handful of things I hate about myself but refuse to deal with. I get a horrible squelchy feeling sometimes, inexplicably, at inappropriate times. I need someone to confide in, but I'd refuse to even if given the opportunity. I'm worried about my future, I'm worried about my body and my brain and my talent and my ability to stave off a breakdown.

I walked outside last night and stood there, breathing in and out for a full five minutes, staring up at an absolutely beautiful sky, and only felt anxiety.

I can't seem to enjoy fresh air anymore, and it's kind of freaking me out.

*

/end nonsensical emo-vomit.

Confession Number Sixty-One

I must confess...

... that I have done absolutely no homework since this Christmas Break has started. I have no desire to even open a book. I hope that this doesn't mean I will be doing loads of homework the Saturday and Sunday before I return to school.

I did do some work today. I worked on my lines and songs for the musical I'm a part of in February. Besides that, I've done nothing....

Okay. I admit it. I did do SOME other homework on December 26 when I was bored at my grandma's house. But it was only about a page of reading in my history book (which I was supposed to have done the week before break started :-P ).

I hate even thinking about homework right now.

Would you like a list of things I have to do? No? Well, I don't care! Here ya go:

• Edit a short movie for English class
• Read over 20 pages of European History and take notes
• Do Physics problems (I can't even find my book/binder to know how many)
• Work on a Physics project about biodiesel (which is totally going to fall apart with all of the rehearsals in the next month)
• Memorize L'Ultima Canozone & work on If With All You Hearts if I make it past the first round of this contest
• Memorize Act 1 by Friday 1/9/09 (<-- i said 09!)
• Rehearsals everyday pretty much
• Hang Out with friends :-)

You know what? I think that's enough. I don't want to know what else I have to do.

I want to bite someone.

Confession Number Sixty

I must confess...

...that I have had one of the best Christmas breaks ever.

This won't be a complete confession because I don't want to talk about everything.

But, just know that I am much more happier and joyful. You should be too!

I love you!

:-)

Confession Number Fifty-Nine

I must confess...

... that I absolutely love the month of December.

This month is filled with so much joy, and spirit, and love! And I love it. (Just thinking about it gives me a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling.)

Although December is so flipping awesome, it can also be very hectic and insane...

You see, December = Performing Arts to the MAX.

There are so many concerts and performances, auditions and rehearsals to be at. I just took a look at my schedule for December, which isn't even updated, and I have some kind of performance just about every weekend. But, the thing is, I love it. I love getting up on the stage and performing for the audience. One of the most satisfying feelings is to see your audience enjoy your performance.

I am very much looking forward to this year's December. I think I will try to appreciate the people around me more. Without them, I would be nothing.

Enjoy your December this year. Think of how blessed you are and remember to give the world's greatest gift to those around you - love.